Fashion, comfort, and keeping your bits where they belong
Let’s face it — dressing during perimenopause and beyond can be a wild ride. One day you’re feeling cute and floaty, the next you’re tearing your top off in a hot flash rage because the fabric has betrayed you. I’ve always loved fashion, but my body now has opinions, and it’s time we talked about them — properly.
This post is for you if:
- You’ve binned your underwired bras and never looked back
- You’ve discovered the holy grail of pants (aka knickers)
- You want to look like a fabulous witch but also stay cool and comfy
- Or you’re just sick of fashion advice that pretends menopause doesn’t exist
Here’s the good stuff: the menopause style hacks no one talks about — from soft bras and waistbands that don’t make you cry, to magical knicker discoveries and why velvet capes should be a wardrobe essential.
Bras: From Torture Devices to Hugging Clouds
Let’s start with the bras, shall we? I binned most of my underwired bras a good while ago. I mean, why the heck would I choose to squeeze myself into something that feels like a medieval torture device when soft bras work just as well these days? Sure, I kept a couple for those “just in case” evenings – but honestly? Even those are now up for debate.
I recently found the most comfortable bras ever from Primark – I kid you not. I was just wandering past the lingerie section when a two-pack literally called out to me. They felt lush – soft, light, and seriously comfy. No wires, no digging, no drama. The only downside is they don’t have back fasteners, so you’ve got to pop them over your head like a T-shirt, but who cares? They feel amazing. Unfortunately, they seem to have vanished from every store I’ve searched since. Here’s a photo in case anyone wants to try and hunt them down themselves. This is what they look like…
Now, full disclosure – I’m a small 34B, so I’ve no idea how they’d work for bigger busts, but if you’re on the smaller side and looking for heavenly comfort, these might just be your answer.
Elastic Waistbands Are Life
Elasticated waistbands are a dream — comfy, forgiving, and perfect for real life. But then there’s the genius design of trousers with a regular waistband at the front and elastic at the back. Honestly, they’re the best of both worlds. They still look neat and polished, but they move with you. No digging in, no mid-afternoon regret. You can lounge cross-legged on the sofa with a cuppa and still head out to lunch without doing that sneaky fold-over-the-waistband trick for extra room. Clever and comfy. (All the above trousers are from H&M)
The Knicker Evolution (AKA “What Was I Thinking?!”)
Right. We need to talk about knickers.
I ditched thongs a long time ago. I mean, really?! A piece of string up your bum. I still can’t believe I used to wear them. Honestly, I’d bet money they were invented by a man. Over the years, my knickers have been getting bigger and bigger (my husband even mentioned it the other day—cheeky sod). But truthfully, I’m very particular when it comes to undies now.
I even made a YouTube video about my love for big knickers a few years ago — and let me tell you, I stand by every word. I can’t bear seams that go up the front of my hoo-ha (NO thanks), and anything that rides up the back crack is an instant no. These days, I’m a proud fan of shorts-style knickers. If they have a longer leg, even better. Think women’s version of men’s boxers or y-fronts.
They stay put. They’re comfy. And they don’t roll into places they shouldn’t.
Now, I don’t want an obvious VPL either, so I go for thinner fabrics. My current faves? You guessed it — Primark again! They’re high-waisted, soft, and feel great… even if they’re probably polyester and not the best for summer heat. I am on the hunt for a natural fibre version, though. So if you’ve got recommendations, send them my way.
A Love Letter to Cycling Shorts (Under Dresses)
Now here’s another trick I’ve recently adopted that’s been a total game changer: wearing cotton cycling shorts under dresses and skirts in summer. If you’ve ever experienced the horror of your thighs rubbing together in the heat (and let’s be honest, who hasn’t?), this little hack will save your sanity.
I grabbed a few cheap cotton pairs from (yes… again) Primark just to try it out – and it made such a difference. Now I can waft around the house in floaty, witchy skirts without waddling like a penguin or worrying about chafing. You can also find anti-chafe ‘knickers’ in loads of stores these days, and I swear Facebook and Instagram are full of ads for them lately. But honestly, even a basic cotton pair does the trick.
Or better still, there are loads of brands these days offering skirts with built-in shorts — a total game-changer. I’ve got one from Halara that I absolutely love. It’s pictured above, but I actually bought mine from Vinted last year and I’ve already worn it to death (not literally, it’s such great quality!). It’s comfy, flattering, and perfect for when you want to feel a bit cute but still be able to move freely without worrying about flashing anything!
Ditch the Turtlenecks (Unless You’re a Vampire)
I used to love a good polo neck. Now? One hot flush and I feel like I’m being strangled by cotton. Itchy, sweaty, claustrophobic — no thank you. Menopause skin can be super sensitive, so anything too tight, synthetic, or clingy is out. But if you’re still a polo neck fan, try swapping it for a lightweight scarf or a loose cowl neck made from breathable fabrics like bamboo, organic cotton, or linen — something floaty and kind to your body that you can easily adjust when the temperature changes.
Mood Dressing is Real (Witchy Vibes Welcome)
Our energy changes so much during menopause. Some days you want to vanish into the background, other days you want to swish into the room like Morticia Addams at a garden party. I love a bit of theatrical flair — think long skirts, flowing sleeves, witchy jewellery, and all-black-everything (without melting, ideally).
As much as I’d love to say I dress like Jack Sparrow’s cousin, I haven’t quite done the full look (yet). But I definitely lean into the modern witch aesthetic. One thing I don’t have is a velvet cape — and honestly? I think I need one.
Natural Fibres Are Your Best Friends
Honestly, polyester should be illegal for perimenopausal women. It traps heat, sweat, and bad moods — and who needs more of any of that? Natural fibres like cotton, linen, bamboo, and Tencel are breathable, cooling, and far gentler on your skin. Yes, linen wrinkles. But so does life — and at least linen does it stylishly.
Dress Like You’re Going on a Day Trip to Hell and Back
Hot flush? Strip. Cold chill five minutes later? Layer back up.
Think light cardigans, oversized button-ups, floaty kimonos — even scarves that double as blankets. Not only do they help you regulate your temperature, they also make you look effortlessly stylish. Like someone who meant to wear three outfits today.
Dark Colours Are a Menopausal Girl’s Secret Weapon
Let’s be honest: perimenopause can get a bit… unpredictable. Sweat patches, surprise spotting, weird hormonal stuff you weren’t warned about. Dark florals, black, deep jewel tones — they’re moody, fabulous, and brilliant at hiding all sorts of bodily mysteries. Trust them.
Dress the Woman You Are Now
This stage of life often comes with a shifting shape, changing skin, and clothes that suddenly feel… wrong. But that’s not failure — it’s evolution.
Try on different silhouettes. Experiment. See what makes you feel good. Not what the fashion mags or 20-somethings on Instagram say you should wear.
Dress the woman you are now — wise, wild, powerful, and still sexy as hell.
Style = Self-Love, Not Sacrifice
Here’s the thing: dressing your perimenopausal body is an act of self-care. It’s not about “giving up” or losing your edge. It’s about honouring what feels good. You don’t need to suffer through pokey wires, itchy fabrics, or trousers that dig in just to look presentable.
Find what makes you feel magic — even if it’s soft knickers and an oversized tee. Especially then.
If you take nothing else away from this, let it be this:
Comfort and style can exist in the same wardrobe.
You don’t have to put up with nonsense clothing anymore. You’ve earned your right to dress exactly how you like — hot flushes, wobbly bits, big pants and all.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to manifest a velvet cape and hunt down those elusive Primark bras again.
Want more chat about menopause fashion, style after 40, or just knicker recommendations? You’ll findmore on my YouTube channel, or you can come hang out over on Instagram.
Let’s embrace the magic of this stage of life—one comfy outfit at a time.
