Values are one of those things we don’t always think about consciously, but they’re there, guiding us all the same. Shaping how we behave, how we treat others, and what we’re willing — or not willing — to accept in our lives.
I’ve always felt quite strongly about mine, even if I didn’t always sit down and label them as “values”. It’s more of a quiet knowing. Things like being respectful to others, treating people the way I would expect to be treated, and having a sense of integrity in what I do and how I live. They seem like simple things, don’t they? But they matter.
Because the truth is, not everyone shares the same values. And I think that’s something you become more aware of as you get older. You start to notice when something feels off. When someone’s behaviour doesn’t quite sit right with you. When actions don’t match words. And it can be disappointing.
I’ve definitely had moments where people have shown sides of themselves that didn’t align with what I believe in, and it changes how you see things. Not in a dramatic way necessarily, but enough to make you step back a little. To reassess.
Sometimes you only have to glance at the world around us (especially at the moment!) to see what happens when values like respect and integrity quietly go missing. Because values aren’t just nice ideas. They’re the foundation of how we connect with people.
When someone shares your values, there’s an ease there. A mutual understanding, even if you’re very different in other ways. And when they don’t, it can feel like you’re slightly out of sync, even if you can’t quite put your finger on why.
For me, respect is a big one. Just basic kindness and consideration. It doesn’t cost anything, and yet it makes such a difference. The same with honesty and integrity — doing the right thing, even when no one’s watching.
And I think midlife has made me even more aware of this. Less willing to overlook things that don’t feel right, and more inclined to surround myself with people who align with how I see the world. Not perfectly, of course. None of us are perfect. But there’s a difference between being human and making mistakes… and consistently acting in a way that doesn’t sit well with you.
At the end of the day, I think values are what quietly shape the life we create. The relationships we build, the choices we make, the way we move through the world. And while they might not always be visible on the surface, they’re always there underneath it all.
This is something I touch on in my book too — that idea of living in alignment with who you are, and staying true to what matters most to you. If that resonates, you can find it on Amazon and if you google The Enchanted Midlife by Suzy Turner, you will also find it on numerous other online bookstores (it’s available as an ebook AND a paperback—and in Portuguese too!).
If you’re taking part in the A to Z Blogging Challenge this year, let me know in the comments so I can check out your posts. And if you’d like to catch up on the rest of mine, you can find some of them here: A is for Alchemy, B is for Becoming, C is for Cycles, D is for Disillusionment, E is for Energy, F is for Flaws, G is for Grumpy, H is for Hormones, I is for Intuition, J is for Joy, K is for Kindness, L is for Laughter, M is for Midlife, N is for Nourish, O is for Overthinking, P is for Purpose, Q is for Quiet, R is for Rubbish, S is for Silly, T is for Today, U is for Unwind.
